A Memory of You
by fini5
Summary: In the weeks following their break-up, Santana writes a series of poems to Brittany. AU.
1. A Memory of You

**Summary: **In the weeks following their break-up, Santana writes a series of poems to Brittany. AU.  
><strong>Disclaimer: <strong>I definitely don't own Glee, if I did, there would be far less Finchel and far more Brittana.

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><p>Brittany,<p>

"I choke back each tear that bleeds  
>I'd rather rest forever in your arms<br>I'd rather stay than go  
>But I know that I should leave.<br>I think of our time together  
>Is it fading, or am I dreaming?<br>Everything you said lives on"  
>- August in Bethany, Juliana Theory<p>

I loved you, with everything I was  
>But now there is nothing left of me<br>So where does that leave you?  
>The only memories I have are of you and me<br>I can't get you out of my head  
>Though I know I am nothing to you<br>I dream on in the hopes that one day  
>You will come back to me<br>And say those words I so long for you to say

At night memories of us fill my head  
>There is nothing else in there but you<br>I'm trying to fit the puzzle pieces together  
>Of how we got to this place<br>This place that screams of loneliness  
>I want to hold you<br>Hold you so tight and never let you go again  
>I miss you<br>Sometimes so much I can't speak  
>Can't breath without wishing<br>Wishing that you would come back to me  
>But all that's left is merely a memory of you<p>

The sound of your voice rings on  
>I can hear it in my head<br>Just close my eyes and there you are for me to see forever  
>But I wish I could open them<br>And you would still be there  
>Standing in front of me<br>Smiling your gorgeous smile  
>Laughing your gorgeous laugh<p>

I hope the vision I have of you never disappears  
>Never fades, never fails like the love we once shared<br>I can look back on those times with a smile  
>But will it always be that way?<br>I fee like it hasn't hit me yet  
>I think I'm still holding onto the hope of you<br>Part of me might just be numb  
>Might just be in denial<br>Not willing to believe that you left  
>That you said goodbye<br>That you've give up on us  
>Given up on me<p>

I hope I will see you again  
>And be able to meet you with a smile<br>I picture your face  
>The shock at how different I am now<br>How you changed me  
>Held me so gently that something in me shifted<br>I hope you know that  
>That I'm a better person now<br>A better person now for loving you  
>I believe again<br>I feel again  
>I breathe again<br>But I wish it was all with you

Your face is forever tattooed in my brain  
>But won't ever go away the way that you did<br>That picture is what keeps me sane

I love you, and I always will,  
>Santana<p>

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><p>I hope you guys enjoyed it. I'm planning on having a few more poems up within the next few days. This story should be about 4 or 5 chapters.<p>

The lyrics in the beginning of the poem are from an amazing band called The Juliana Theory. The song is August in Bethany, it's so great. Give it a listen if you'd like.

Thanks!  
>Kath<p> 


	2. Complications of the Heart

**Chapter 2: **Complications of the Heart  
><strong>Disclaimer: <strong>Definitely don't own it.

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><p>Brittany:<p>

Where do I start with you?  
>From the first second I was yours<br>My walls came tumbling down  
>What I felt was so real<br>I didn't understand it,  
>I didn't see what you really were<br>They say that love blinds you,  
>And is only for fools<br>Well now I'm the idiot left standing  
>Who can't see a fucking thing<p>

I guess part of me knew it all along  
>That we would end up at this place<br>Broken and barren, I stand in front of you  
>This is me, can't you see?<br>I've always been this way  
>My head got in the way of your heart<br>And now you've quit  
>Given up on what we had<br>What we could have been

You said this would never happen  
>But who to trust?<br>You, or all the memories of my past?  
>Though you were the one<br>Who made me feel real again  
>I don't know if I can come back<br>And withstand the pain of losing you again  
>Everyone says I'm crazy<br>To just leave you alone and get over it  
>But you were always the strong one<br>And I the meek child in the corner

Was what we had real?  
>It's so close I can almost touch it<br>But the memory of your face fades quicker  
>The closer I get to you<br>And right now there is nothing that I want more  
>Than to just grab hold of it<br>And never let go again

I know apart of you will always be with me  
>But that will never be enough<br>I want all of you  
>Though I know apart is broken forever<br>Your past is in the way  
>You – once so seemingly happy<br>Were just wearing a mask  
>Trying to cover the pain and hurt<br>I thought I could rid you of that mask  
>But I guess I'm not the one<p>

You will live on forever in my mind  
>As the one that could have been<br>But so easily slipped away  
>Now my walls are back up<br>You could have had it all  
>They're not budging again<br>And they will never again fall  
>I once thought you were better than I<br>Though now what do I see?  
>Just two fucked up minds<br>And a life of love  
>That will never be<p>

I love you, and I always will  
>Santana<p>

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><p>Hey guys, hope you are enjoying the story so far. There's been alot of traffic, but no reviews so let me know what you think!<p>

Thanks,  
>Kath<p> 


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